Fan Words: "I love you forever and will keep you safe in my heart until my last day!"

Chuck Schuldiner: We keep you safe in our heart and mind

By Divine Spleen

Expressing my feelings for Chuck... I knew I would definetely be out of words yet I will try to...

It was just a few months ago, I really met with Chuck and his spectacular, unspeakable art which - without any doubt- it's a real touchstone in metal music history. I mostly spend the boring time in bus by listening music on my way between work and home. Thanks to my new mp3 player, I was able to upload plenty of metal songs and among them there were the songs of Symbolic album. After a while, I realised that I had been obsessively listening the same 2 songs between hundreds of other songs; Sacred Serenity and Without Judgement. A good ear never fails...

That was the start of my curiosity about Chuck and Death. Then I began to search madly about him and Death on internet for days, tried to read every detail and every information that was available. I learnt that he had written the song Sacred Serenity for his dead dog. I was surprised to hear and thought that it could not have been a coincidence because I have cats who have a significant impact on my life and somehow I could have felt the pain in that song. Without Judgement as well was just pointing out an event I was experiencing those times...The solid power of his art, his genious, the way how very sincere and deep feelings were expressed, musical profundity started to capture my spirit since then...

Besides his music, to be honest, I was mostly affected by his unique personality. I guess, I will have the real difficulty to describe my feelings at this point. When I first saw him in photos, the first thing I noticed was his eyes reflecting his wisdom, looking so deep and always a bit crushing and rebel towards life as well as questioning (those are, of course, very personal and subjective ideas ). He was definetely brightening the each shot he was in, with his appearance reflecting his inner beauty and his heavenly, immortal soul...You know, it was just as clear as a sunny day...

The more I learnt about his way of living, his point of view towards certain things and the way he had been living his own feelings, the more I felt close to him. I can definetely say that iIfeel him...The way I live my own pains, my anger and my "perseverance" about my goals and my promises are very close to how he had lived all those. That is why I feel him just very inside of my heart and my admiration for him is just very far from being a usual fan's admiration. He is just living inside me, this may sound like a "cliché" but for me it is a very precious miracle to have and it is just enough for me to know it... I guess that is why I dislike to see "R.I.P Chuck" here and there. I believe as long as a heart on earth exists that keeps Chuck alive, he is alive..  I mean he is just alive...

With my very high and everlasting respect to you Chuck for being a man of honesty and for being such a "real human"... I love you forever and will keep you safe in my heart until my last day!